goodbyes are hard

Re:Cover your eyes, you’re breathing too hard

this is starting to suffocate me, i cant be around either of you for prolonged periods of time anymore. who would want to surround themselves with people who are so comfortable with being miserable they accept it as the only way of being. i feel like i cannot take one step with out being made to feel as if im guilty, committing an infidelity, or going to be criticized. and its tiring. i tried my best, you tried your best(?), but were both so young and unready for a “life” with another person. i want to be able to just sit back and breathe again, to be able to laugh over stupid puns i make, to wake up at 6 am to go to work, to see my friends without having to make an excuse about seeing family, to drink as much as i want, to drink as little as i want, to sleep in the same bed as my best friend while watching a movie without getting jealous glances, to feel okay when i hug you, i dont know i guess to just be able to live my life how i want to again. its funny that the same things i was scared of as a child are the things im becoming frightened of again.