goodbyes are hard: Archive

Airports

I am crying too hard right now

Oct 2nd

Clamor

And all I can do is sit in the kitchen and cry, nostalgias going to be a cold bitch when you’re gone. I love you and I’m so thankful that you’re happy.

Sep 24th

Four hundred and twenty characters or less

You see, I thought I was doing the mature thing by giving y’all what you want, by leaving you alone and responding with “I fucked up, were not friends anymore” like you asked. But seeing people I was on somewhat alright terms with in association with familiarity and having them tell me they know how I am because you’ve laid it down for them; doesn’t sit well with me....

Jul 22nd

ENFJ

Songs that start with a sad sigh that you can’t really hear unless you have the right headphones tend to be my favorite

Jun 29th

I've been trying to get back to the center

i dont think its a good idea for me to be around people for awhile until i can smile about everything thats happened instead of feel a dull throb. i want a canary.

Jun 9th

Jun 8th

Eeexxxpppaaannndddiiinnnggg

wake up at 430am, work till 2pm, walk “home”, arrive to an empty apartment, warm beer, being single, try to go to sleep at 11pm, actually fall asleep at 4am, rinse; repeat.

May 27th

this is my life now

i have to accept this, i have to stop crying

May 25th

's different when you're lonely

c’est vraiment triste

May 12th

Apr 19th

Apr 12th

Re:Cover your eyes, you're breathing too hard

this is starting to suffocate me, i cant be around either of you for prolonged periods of time anymore. who would want to surround themselves with people who are so comfortable with being miserable they accept it as the only way of being. i feel like i cannot take one step with out being made to feel as if im guilty, committing an infidelity, or going to be criticized. and its tiring. i tried my...

Apr 8th

1 note

Feb 21st

5,493 notes

Feb 5th

beginnings and endings

10 days, new apartments, new horizons, gifts, lips, hands, kitties, snow, living out of bags and suit cases, love, best friend, losing weight, trains busses, planes , BOS to PDX, the three musketeers, cooking, cold hands, warm breath, scarves, physical rehabilitation, alzheimers, this:

Dec 20th

deuxieme>troiseme

This is the second significant lie that I’ve caught you in Note the use of the word significant.

Nov 29th

maybe if...

I took the memories of all the years that I’ve done the right and wrong things for us, smashed them up, and made a mosaic. It would show you exactly what you should do, how you should feel.

Nov 28th

tapes and tapes and tapes and tapes and tapes

I left cape cod on the first of november and left massachusetts the second. The country wasn’t anything special although shane and I both fell in love with hot springs AR and albuquerque NM. When we made it to the santa monica pier (it literally looked like rocket power” nina decided she wanted to leave shane behind. I told her I couldn’t and wouldn’t so we set off on our...

Nov 25th

Ghazal, R.Q

a procession of veils, daughter of white: the elder sister, river skin I devolve again. the golden stamen rubbed into weak eyes— decoded the myth we would not solve again. at night, you burned life into me: never did I worry about what it might involve: again fragrance of mandrakes seeped into my womb came two tender moons that will forever revolve again. my last breath came at morning,...

Nov 10th

fakesgiving

lastnight we celebrated thanksgiving for my great grandparents early for obvious reasons we were all divided in our opinions of eachother but pulled it together for them, even if half of us were stoned, my cousin was so anxious she was shaking, and i was shitfaced. theyre into their eighties now and still so in love, its hard watching two of the strongest people i know so frail. she adamantly...

Oct 7th

you dont got the guts to bear it

Sometimes I feel as if my luck has this vendetta against me that will never be fulfilled. Of all the random towns on the interstate we could’ve stopped in, I happen to pick the one you’re in. Your sweater was nice and your haircut was cute. All I wanted you to do was breathe on my hands at that pick nick table, warm them up. Warm me up.

Oct 5th

aphonia

I can’t begin to count the times I’ve had to put my head between my knees to steady my chest these past weeks. The face of nuclear family pretty much crumbled to a virtual war of all against all that I don’t want to be a part of but am continuously dragged into. My sister sent me a text on my birthday with all of the reasons why I’m more amazing than edward cullen, I...

Sep 27th

1 note

leaving songs

i dont bother anyone, i dont inconvienece anyone, im polite, i try to be honest, im helpful, i wash my hands regularly, brush my teeth, and do the dishes. im not sure why things dont work out for me so often i do know that i cant stand being ignored

Sep 17th

big breaths and baby steps

For the first time in my life I’m genuinely scared of not knowing what to do when I don’t honestly know what I’m thinking

May 22nd

i spend endless days thinking of all the different...

Everytime we say goodbye, it kills me, I get this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just got off of the phone with you, and its just so hard to be up and at’em when I realize I’m sleeping alone tonight/tomorrow morning. I want everything to work out. I want to share a bed with you, I want to buy second hand dishes and silverware with you, I want you curl up with you under a...

Mar 21st

do you think he can be trusted?

beer, wine, alcohol, cigarettes, new phone, pay day, tax return, alaska, new ties, being single, new friends?, cats, film, tents, “conservatizing”, poor eating habits, gabriel grey, cold hands, going blind, amicable attitudes, new year, old me

Feb 9th

hiro nakamura

Let’s suppose that you were able, every night, to dream any dream you wanted to dream. And that you could, for example, have the power within one night to dream 75 years of time, or any length of time you wanted to have. And you would, naturally, as you began on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure you could receive. And after several...

Jan 4th

judas iscariot

“I love you” he whispered, too weak to hold me tighter. He felt like turbulence in my arms, strong limbs convulsing in a breath of silent wind. I felt like the world was collapsing beneath me, like my lungs had forgotten how to breathe air, I could only press my lips again and again to his neck feeling the life there while pleading to something unseen, something higher. Please, not...

Dec 25th

just downloaded

Every converge and botch album So happy October is going to good

Sep 26th

brother,brother

Robert comes here in a bit No more nights alone struggling with myself I guess ill just reverse my ticket

Sep 11th

Sep 5th